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Welcome to parenthood.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 13, 2020
Everything you own will now be sticky and broken.
Me: According to labor laws I’m allowed an hour lunch and two fifteen minute breaks— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 13, 2020
Store Manager: Ma’am you don’t work here and I’m not watching your kids for you
“Wow, that was A LOT better than I expected.” Is the wrong thing to say after your sons’ recital. I know this now.— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 13, 2020
Motherhood: a life spent yelling from the bathroom.— Ohio mom of two (@OhioMomoftwo) February 13, 2020
My 4yo threw a wrapper on the floor, and I told him to pick it up and put it where it belongs. He put it in my purse. He’s not right, but he’s also not wrong.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 11, 2020
80% of parenting is replying to your kids “wow, that’s cool” without even looking.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 9, 2020
5: Why’re you looking at me?— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) February 9, 2020
5: I didn’t do anything!
Me: *squints harder*
5: OK, I colored on the walls.
Me: *squints harderer*
5: FINE, I’ll go to my room! How did you know?
Me: *still blind as fuck and unsure of which kid I’m talking to* I have my ways.
Welcome to parenting, your choices are:— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) February 12, 2020
A) Listen to your toddler scream and cry for 10 minutes because YOU opened their fruit snack.
B) Listen to your toddler scream and cry for 10 minutes because THEY don't know how to open their fruit snack.
Me: is everything ok today?
8: yeah, I'm just really emotional right now.
Me: I understand that. Is it friends? Or a...