The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. So, each week we round up the most hilarious 280-character quips from mums and dads to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Welcome to parenthood.
Everything you own will now be sticky and broken.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 13, 2020
Me: According to labor laws I’m allowed an hour lunch and two fifteen minute breaks
Store Manager: Ma’am you don’t work here and I’m not watching your kids for you— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 13, 2020
“Wow, that was A LOT better than I expected.” Is the wrong thing to say after your sons’ recital. I know this now.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) February 13, 2020
Motherhood: a life spent yelling from the bathroom.
— Ohio mom of two (@OhioMomoftwo) February 13, 2020
My 4yo threw a wrapper on the floor, and I told him to pick it up and put it where it belongs. He put it in my purse. He’s not right, but he’s also not wrong.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 11, 2020
80% of parenting is replying to your kids “wow, that’s cool” without even looking.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 9, 2020
5: Why’re you looking at me?
Me: *squints*
5: I didn’t do anything!
Me: *squints harder*
5: OK, I colored on the walls.
Me: *squints harderer*
5: FINE, I’ll go to my room! How did you know?
Me: *still blind as fuck and unsure of which kid I’m talking to* I have my ways.— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) February 9, 2020
Welcome to parenting, your choices are:
A) Listen to your toddler scream and cry for 10 minutes because YOU opened their fruit snack.
B) Listen to your toddler scream and cry for 10 minutes because THEY don't know how to open their fruit snack.— Moderately Mom (@momtribevibe) February 12, 2020
