The actress is mom to daughters Olive and Frankie
Drew Barrymore is sharing the advice she received that changed the way she parents.
On Tuesday's episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, the actress, 48, welcomed parenting expert and psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman and revealed the tips she was given that changed the way she parents her daughters. Barrymore is mom to daughters Olive, 11, and Frankie, 9, whom Barrymore shares with ex-husband Will Kopelman.
"You specifically changed my life. I had my daughter Olive, who Aliza knows, she was going through a phase, this was years ago, where when she would get upset, I would try to go to her and I would try to make it better," Barrymore began.
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"That was the last thing she needed or wanted. I didn't understand it, she would either run away or come back at me. But either way was like the two extremes of no goodness and Aliza taught me to regulate myself, which again was like, okay. You said walk in the room and just say, 'I understand we're having a moment.'"
"'I'm here on the other side of this door for you, waiting. When you are ready, I am here.' And I would walk out and take a deep breath. I got the best results I've ever gotten in my parenting from that and it was never a way in I had thought of," the actress shared.
"I think we get so scared of the big feelings, that we want to fix them. And we're chasing them," Dr. Aliza responded.
"Yes! I was literally chasing her," Barrymore vehemently said.
"And the message is like, 'We are afraid of feelings.' And feelings aren't dangerous!" Dr Aliza continued. "Being able to regulate ourselves as the adults and say, 'Okay, I'm not being chased by a bear. My daughter's not being chased by a bear.' Meaning, it's not an emergency. It's a feeling."
Barrymore noted that that kind of response can be an evolutionary one.
"Totally. And it makes sense that you would have it and it makes sense that you would want to make sure that your child is happy," Dr. Aliza affirmed.
"But we need our kids to know how to dress for the weather and not try to control the weather," she leveled. "Because we can't. So, better they understand how to have the feelings and that they are survivable and that we are not shaken."
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