My College Graduation Was Canceled And I Feel Guilty Being Heartbroken About It
On March 11, I got the email while walking out of my last English class: “COVID-19 update on University of Michigan classes, travel, study abroad and large events.”
My heart sank as I opened it. I’d already guessed what I’d find in the email: My senior year, as I knew it, would be coming to a close.
Arriving at my off-campus apartment, I stood in the doorway for what felt like an eternity, trying to decide whether I should pack up and leave or stay for a few days to say goodbye to this place I call home. After talking to my friends and family, I chose to pack up my apartment that same night and head back to my childhood home, about an hour and a half away.
What would I be saying goodbye to if I stayed, anyway? A panic-stricken campus full of students and faculty trying to figure out their next steps in the face of a pandemic that could alter the course of their lives? It wasn’t the University of Michigan that I knew nor the one I wanted to say goodbye to.
It was two days later when the senior class received notification that our graduation ceremony was officially canceled. Most of us had had a glimmer of hope upon receiving our first email from the president of the university stating that classes would continue online without mentioning graduation. Now that hope quickly dissipated.
“All University of Michigan commencement ceremonies are canceled. We will look at ways to celebrate 2020 graduates in the future.”
I sat on the bathroom floor in my parents’ home and sobbed. Hearing my whale-esque sounds of sorrow, worried family members came to my side and shared my pain. My mother, an immigrant to the U.S., had been looking forward to seeing me graduate from this university since the day I set foot on campus. She was 22 years old when the Yugoslav Wars broke out in Croatia, leaving her with a forever incomplete law degree. My father, a first-generation college graduate who has been steadfast in supporting my academic dreams while paying the...
