'I won't budge': Bride-to-be sparks debate over 'unreasonable' wedding rule

Marni Dixit
·Lifestyle & Entertainment Producer
·5-min read

A bride-to-be has sparked a heated debate after sharing an issue she's having with a wedding guest on Reddit.

Taking to the AITA [Am I The A**hole] sub-Reddit the user u/anotherweddingpost shared her predicament with the Internet and soon received a lot of feedback.

A bride cries on wedding day
A bride-to-be has sparked a debate over an "unreasonable" wedding rule. Photo: Getty

The woman wrote, "I (28f) will be getting married in September. I have a blind friend who mostly relies on her guide dog. The dog obviously has access rights to all places.

"Now I am in a sticky situation and I can sense that I will be TA [the a**hole]. I have three chronic illnesses that I take 23 pill a day for, severe asthma and you guessed it, an extremely severe dog allergy.

“Usually when I meet with my friend we meet in the open and I take two allergy pills. However, because of all the other medication I take these pills make me extremely drowsy to the point where I am officially not allowed to drive and I usually crash as soon as I get home from our get togethers."

She continued, saying her wedding will be "very intimate" and the event will be held in very small rooms.

"I feel horrible about this but I don’t think I can let my friend bring her dog. It just wouldn’t work. I talked about it with my fiance and some friends. Finally, I talked to my friend about it, explained the situation and said I would love her to come but she can’t bring her dog.

"I said that four of our mutual friends had offered to 'be on a roster' and assist her should she need it. Alternatively, if she is not comfortable with this she could bring a person of her choosing to the wedding or I’d pay for a professional aid for the day. I think it is important to note that her dog is not for any additional issues like seizures or anything like that.

Guide dog outside
Most Reddit users said the friend was in the wrong for not accepting the bride-to-be's other offers to make her comfortable on the day of the wedding without her guide dog. Photo: Getty

"Unfortunately, she was less than happy with my suggestions. She accused me of being ableist and thinking her disability can be switched off for the day.

"I understand what I asked was a lot and it is a difficult topic. I told her to tell me if she changes her mind and I’d be happy to make arrangements. But I won’t budge," she concluded.

Many commenters began by saying they fully expected to deem the poster as the person in the wrong, however, after reading the full post they decided that the bride-to-be's friend was being "unreasonable".

One user wrote, "It's not like OP hasn't tried to accomodate in many different ways. OP's friend is just being thickheaded and unreasonable. OP didn't just say don't bring your dog, but explained why and offered alternatives. OP's friend is definitely the AH here."

Another added, "OP it sounds like you've gone out of your way to try to make sure she can still be included without the service dog. Maybe give her some time, start off with if you weren't allergic then you'd absolutely have no problem with it being there but with the venue type and other offers of aid, then unfortunately they just may not come.

"Also I note you said it doesn't provide anything else other than helping aid with sight but you have to realize that a guide dog for the blind also allows a huge sense of freedom and independence for them too. I do think they should suck it up for the day, but also understand if she's just not willing to give that up and opts out of the wedding."

Someone else wrote, "I can also understand to an extent why the friend or any person with a guide dog would be upset normally, but given the circumstances her friend is in and the sacrifices she regularly makes, AND the very thoughtful and thorough suggestions she's made, I don't think she has a leg to stand on here. Add on that she's accusing her friend of being ableist when OP has offered many options to aide her, she's TA and OP is NTA [not the a**hole]."

Another user, who wrote that they were also blind and use a guide dog, said, "Your friend is being unreasonable in this very particular situation. The professional aid you’re referring to is called a Sight Guide and they are trained to assist while being as non-intrusive as possible.

"If I was going to go to a wedding and couldn’t bring my dog for the same reasons you stated above, I would be worried too. However I would also be able to understand the circumstances and that you’re not being ableist or cruel.

"It might be that she is worried about leaving the dog unattended so perhaps you helping her find a sitter for the day would calm her nerves?

"Either way, you are not the asshole because your severe allergy is a disability that is just as valid as hers."

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