Bride angry after 'disturbing' wedding request from stepsister
A bride-to-be has taken to Reddit to get some advice after receiving a "disturbing" request from her stepsister.
The woman took to the Am I The A**hole subreddit to question whether she was in the wrong or if her stepsister was in the wrong after being asked to downsize her wedding in fear of upstaging her stepsister's.
The poster revealed that she and her stepsister went to her mum and stepfather's place for dinner recently and both the women began talking about their wedding plans.
She said, "My stepsister immediately started talking about how she was being forced to have a small wedding (30-60 people) because her fiancé didn’t have the money to fund the type of wedding she wanted (she’s always been vocal about wanting a lavish wedding).
"Some of the things she was saying were pretty snarky, but I chose to stay quiet because it isn’t really my business. My [mum] pointed out how she (and stepdad) had a small wedding and that it wasn’t about how many people were there but that everyone you invited made the day more special.
"My stepsister made a sarcastic comment about how that was their second wedding and she wasn’t planning to have a do-over, so it had to be perfect."
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She continued, "My [mum], who was obviously hurt by her comment, changed the topic by asking me to show her the Pinterest board I’d made for the wedding. There aren’t that many pictures on it yet, but it includes a few photos of what I hope to be our wedding venue.
"My stepsister immediately asked why we needed such a big venue, how it was going to be so expensive and how we probably didn’t have enough family/friends to even fill it up (it’s not even THAT big of a venue, we’re planning to have 50-150 guests).
"I tried to be vague and said I just liked the picture, but my stepsister kept probing me about how much it would cost to rent it. I eventually told her, which then led to her asking how much our budget was. I could see this was going to turn into a fight/her sulking so I refused to answer and told her I wasn’t sure yet."
She added that her stepsister then went and spoke to the poster's sister, who helped her work on the wedding budget.
The sister told their stepsister the budget, not realising she was about to start so much drama.
The poster continued, "My stepsister has now been complaining to our parents that it wasn’t fair that I had so much money when she and her fiancé didn’t even have half of it and that I had to downsize my wedding, otherwise I’d embarrass them.
"She’s also demanding that either I downsize, or we share the wedding with her and her fiancé getting married in the morning and us in the evening. I can’t do this because my fiancé/his family are going to fund most of the wedding and whilst we have a budget of X, I’m hoping we don’t spend even close to it."
It gets worse, with the bride-to-be writing, "I explained to her we weren’t going to even spend our full budget and she thinks I’m now obliged to give whatever we don’t use to her. She and her fiancé have been sending me texts daily demanding I give them the money. Even my stepdad has suggested/demanded I give her the money as it’s not fair and has been really cold towards me whenever I visit since."
One commenter responded, "NTA (Not the A**hole) DO not give them a dime, their wedding isn't your responsibility. If you stepfather thinks they should have more money for their wedding, let him figure it out. Not your circus, not your monkeys."
Another added, "Someone needs to tell the step sister that life isn’t fair and someone will always have more than you. Be happy for what you have because there is also always someone with less than you."
Someone else wrote, "God forbid stepsister either have a long engagement and build up enough to afford a wedding or have a wedding she can actually afford.
"Something tells me from her attitude there’s definitely a do-over wedding in her future."
One user joked, "I nominate myself to be on standby with a glass of red wine at the wedding."
Another said, "NTA - The entitlement here is disturbing and disgusting. It’s not as if your mother and stepfather are paying for your wedding and refusing to give her as much money. If that was the case she’d have reason to complain but it’s incredibly petty, rude and childish to expect you to either give her money, downsize or share your day because she’s unwilling to tailor her wedding to her budget."
Others suggested the poster begin using passwords with her vendors so the stepsister couldn't come in and change any of her plans in secret.
"NTA. Start now to put a password on all of your vendors. Watch for stealth wedding plans to show up at your wedding. I would keep all plans private because stepsis is not to be trusted. She really has a lot of nerve," someone wrote.
One user said they "bet she pulled this crap as a kid too", to which the original poster responded that "she did".
There has yet to be a follow-up, but until then, check out this story about a stepmother of the bride's 'inappropriate' wedding outfit.
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