'I was shaken': Breastfeeding mum claps back at abusive stranger
A young mum who stood up to an abusive stranger has been widely praised after she went public with her story.
When Ashley Rogers, 30, had arrived at a cafe in Melbourne’s south-east with her daughter and baby son she said she made an effort to select a seat which would allow her to be discreet while breastfeeding.
The mother-of-three said she intentionally chose a spot where she would not be in someone’s face and where she could best use her jacket to hide any “side-boob”.
However Mrs Rogers had barely begun feeding four-and-a-half-month-old Archie when she heard yelling behind her.
“I turned around to see what the hell they were yelling at. It wasn't until I turned back, I realised, he was yelling at me,” she said, describing the ordeal on Facebook.
“I then heard him say, ‘You[’re] disgusting, that's disgusting, cover your tits’”.
Shocked, the young mum turned back to look at the screaming man as she continued to feed her baby and asked: “excuse me?”
“He then proceeded to tell me how disgusting I was, that he can see my tits and to put them away,” Mrs Rogers said.
“I told him ‘I'm feeding my god damn son, you disgusting pig’.”
The stranger continued to verbally abuse the breastfeeding mum, telling her she was “disgusting for doing it in public” and to cover her breasts.
However, by this point, the scene the man had caused had unsurprisingly drawn the attention of bystanders who went to the mum’s aid.
The bystanders embraced Mrs Rogers, an act of kindness that caused her to burst into tears.
“I was shaken, angry, embarrassed,” she said, but honoured by the Good Samaritans.
By the time she turned to look again, the abusive stranger was gone.
“This man did not come up quietly to say this,” she added, “he yelled it out for the entire centre to hear. All while his elderly mother sat by his side, doing and saying nothing.
“To this man I want to say, go eat your lunch in a smelly bathroom with a blanket over your head - tell me how you like it.
“To these amazing women who supported me, and one lovely gentlem[a]n, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You are the reason I will continue to feed uncovered in public!”
The cafe’s staff were similarly shocked by the incident and afterwards showed her their support.
‘Go eat your lunch in a smelly toilet’
The mother-of-three told Yahoo News Australis while she had previously received “the occasional disapproving look” from people while breastfeeding, those instances were “few and far between”.
However, since posting her story and having it shared so widely, it became obvious that breastfeeding mums still faced huge stigma.
“It’s become very clear since posting my story that there are still many people who are not accepting of women breastfeeding their children in public,” Mrs Rogers said. “It's now my mission to change that and help women breastfeed confidently.”
The young mum added that part of her drive to try and normalise public breastfeeding and empower mothers was the ordeal both she and her baby Archie had gone through since his birth.
“What a lot of people don't know is my boy was hospitalised for failure to thrive,” she explained, meaning that he must be fed on demand, because despite being nearly five months old, he was still the size of a newborn.
“What people also won't know is how hard I have worked to breastfeed - medication, natural supplements, several pump sessions a day, hundreds, if not almost thousands spent on anything that would help me,” Mrs Rogers said.
“Before Archie, I was too embarrassed/scared to feed uncovered. I then pushed through my fears and thoughts and now I feed everywhere, any bloody time he wants!!!”
The mum’s impassioned story was quickly met with overwhelming support, amassing over a thousand likes and nearly 300 shares. Her story also prompted other women to share similar unpleasant experiences they’d had while feeding their children in public.
The response inspired her to create The Milk Mum, a Facebook page where mums could support each other and assist with the normalisation of breastfeeding, as well as to organise a public nursing event at the cafe where Mrs Rogers was chastised.
Illegal to discriminate breastfeeding
Under Australia Federal Law, it is illegal to discriminate against a person either directly or indirectly on the grounds of breastfeeding.
According to the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA), these type of incidents are uncommon but when it does happen, “it can really rock a mother's confidence”.
“It may be essential to normalise breastfeeding again after the incident,” with the advocacy group urging mothers to seek emotional support through family or a GP, or to contact the Breastfeeding Helpline on 1800 686 268.
“If a mother is ever in a situation where she is verbally threatened together with physical contact then this constitutes an assault and is classed as a criminal act.
“In this situation she should consider... not responding to aggressive behaviour to avoid an escalation of the situation [or] contacting the police when possible and reporting the incident.”
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