Aussie women breaking tradition with 'selfish' family decision

Data shows Aussie women are turning their backs on starting a family, here's why.

Sophia Gillis (left) and Tanya Williams (right).
Aussie women are increasingly opting for child-free families. Sophia Gillis and Tanya Williams tell Yahoo why. Source: Supplied

Starting a family is a big decision.

And as the cost of living grows, housing availability shrinks and climate change poses an ever-present threat, there are plenty of reasons why Aussies might second-guess if bringing a child into this world is really a good idea.

Last month, a growing trend of single-child families, otherwise known as 'triangle families', was revealed as the new normal for millions, and in Australia, the number of only-child families doubled in the past 40 years.

But there is another type of family that is quietly growing — one where there are no children at all. Two women — Sophia Gillis and Tanya Willis reveal why they are part of a growing trend of women choosing to forgo motherhood.

Through her work caring for animals, 39-year-old dog behaviourist Sophia Gillis gets regular comments from strangers telling her that she'd make a great mother one day, but when she tells them that's not in her plan, they say "give it time and just wait and see," she told Yahoo.

Growing up in a traditional family, Gillis always thought she'd follow in the footsteps of her parents and have a big family. But as she got older and made a life for herself, all that changed.

Working in a vet clinic at the start of her career "gradually turned me off the idea" she says after witnessing countless families with stressed-out parents and misbehaving children.

Gillis and her partner made the conscious decision to live child-free together. "We’re comfortable with that decision," she said.

Sophia told Yahoo she prefers a mentor role than being a mother. Source: Supplied
Sophia told Yahoo she prefers a mentor role than being a mother. Source: Supplied

Despite not wanting a child of her own, she loves having children in her life — be it her nieces and nephews or nurturing young talent through her business.

"I find so much joy in being a mentor compared to a mother position. It's a mothering role but I don’t need to deal with a baby or a two-year-old," she said.

Her advice to anyone grappling with the "big decision" of whether to be a parent or not should do it from a selfish standpoint.

"If you want to live a life that is selfish and self-centred which is perfectly okay, maybe you want to put a pin in having a child. This world is full of people who are not good parents and shouldn’t have had kids.

But if you do want to have children, she says make sure it's an "educated decision".

Tanya Williams, author of A Childfree Happily Ever After, has made it her mission to break the taboo in speaking about becoming childfree — saying the tide is "shifting" when it comes to parenthood.

The Australian Institute of Family Studies Director, Anne Hollonds previously said the aging of the population was one key factor behind a trend that would see childless families outnumber those with children for the first time in 2030.

More recent research showed more than half of 18 to 34-year-olds are delaying starting a family, blaming the current cost of living effects and Australian Bureau of Statistics data shows that without international migration, our population would be on track to decline in just over a decade.

Despite the numbers, Williams says she regularly encounters people who "aren't comfortable with" the decision. "They've gone, well, 'I've done what I'm supposed to have done. Why haven't you?'" she said.

Unlike Gillis, Williams always knew that she didn't want children and in her fifties, it's a decision she doesn't regret. "Children are the biggest decision you’ll ever make and one you can't take back," she said.

"People will spend thousands on career courses or uni degrees, but how much work do they put into a decision like this?" she said.

Instead, she's used the time ordinarily set aside for child raising to "design a life I want" that includes a successful career, lots of travel, and time with her dogs and husband.

Williams advice to those grappling with the decision is to not give in to peer pressure. "Women need to understand they have a choice and do what's right for them and not give into peer pressure," she said.

"It’s really important they have the conversations with their partners before they get married or commit."

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