Note: Sexual harassment is mentioned below.
When it comes to relationships and dating, sometimes a person you're interested in will say something so jarring that it immediately makes them no longer attractive.
So when Reddit user u/TheNymphoArtist asked the r/AskWomen community: "What have you found out about a partner/potential partner that immediately made you ghost?" the answers were wild and incredibly frustrating. Here's what they had to say below:
1."He had a wife and children. Found out after a month of dating."
2."I was seeing this guy in college, and one day, he brought up his disgust with women's periods; not just the bleeding, but the symptoms that came with it. He said that women calling out sick because of menstrual cramps was utter BS and we should just suck it up. My friend has endometriosis and suffers from extremely heavy periods and chronic pain. I had extremely heavy periods, which was a result of a hormone imbalance, and was later diagnosed as anemic. I did not see him again after that conversation, but I let him know that he was way out of line."
3."He wanted to 'do just the tip' without a condom when I had clearly stated I wasn't doing anything without a condom. I threw him out and blocked his number."
4."As soon as we sat down for dinner, he said, 'So actually, I just got out of jail today! Crazy shit. I have a bit of a temper.' I hightailed it out of there pretty quick."
5."His ex called asking where he was. Turns out he'd arranged with her to see his kids that day, but instead, he told her he couldn't make it because he was at my house. I had only known him for a couple of weeks. I made up an excuse to make him leave shortly after that call and completely ghosted. I have no respect for a man who shits on his children and ex and commitments that he made."
6."A morning text 'I need to f—k' inspired me to peace out."
7."Before I met my boyfriend on a dating site, one of the guys (I never got around to meeting for reasons that will unfold here) I was talking to was hyper-focused on whether I was naked at any given time. I let that red flag go because I thought maybe he was just awkward and inexperienced with dating. But I did tell him his focus on my state of undress all the time was making me uncomfortable. So instead, knowing that I had dogs, he just started asking me about my dogs all the time. It was pretty innocuous at first. 'What're your dogs doing now?' 'Did they get any treats today?' 'Did you play with them today?' 'Do you like to cuddle your dogs to relax?' Well, I do like to cuddle my dogs so I didn't really see any issue, but then he started back up with the semi-sexual talk — but kept the dogs involved. 'Do you cuddle your dogs naked?' 'Would you cuddle your dogs naked?' and worse."
"I don't believe in ghosting people as a general practice unless it's clear someone is a creep and might be a danger. This guy had me very creeped out. He asked me a very inappropriate question about my dogs one day, and I never responded to him again. Eventually, he got the message and stopped contacting me."
8."I went on a date (or maybe two?) with a doctor. He ran late on the next date and ended up having to cancel because a patient came into the office in crisis that he had to attend to. He ended up complaining afterward about how it makes him mad that they 'just bring it on themselves.' I'm a social worker, so I was like, oh, he's the worst kind of doctor. Say no more."
9."He was TikTok famous (I'm not on there), and he was canceled for homophobic and creepy child-related 'jokes.' I found out when my mother googled him and sent me a video of him, saying, 'Is this really who you want to be associated with?'"
10."I had a date booked with a guy from an app. The day of, I stalked his social media and saw a recent post where he had screenshotted a lady's dating profile from the app and posted it laughing about her body to his friends. I stood him up and got loads of whiney messages — but f**k him."
11."We were kissing in his car after our first date. He put his hand between my legs. I gently removed it, all while keeping my lip locked. A minute later, his hand wanders back. I removed it again, 'I'm not ready for that yet.' When he put his hand back a third time, I said, 'Dude — what the hell!?' He shrugged and said, 'It's a woman's prerogative to put down boundaries, but it's a man's prerogative to push them.' There was no second date."
12."He kept talking about how he could date, like, every woman he wanted to, how beautiful and nice his (female) friends were, and he asked me why I didn't wear designer clothes to our date. I mean it's not a 'found out' trait he was just an idiot."
13."After a few weeks of talking to this guy online, I ended up hospitalized because of my Crohn's. I told him that the following morning they were going to do another colonoscopy to check how things were and that I was a bit scared (the doctors weren't sure if my intestines were at risk of a rupture). His reply? 'Nothing compared to what I would do to your ass.' I blocked the hell out of him."
14."He fell asleep during the movie, his phone also went off loudly multiple times, AND he ate all of my candy. I never saw him again."
15."He said he didn't like giving oral because he thinks it's 'gross', but expected me to give it to him anyway."
16."He told me I wasn’t the 'kind of girl that he could introduce to his mother' and would spend his life with the person she chose for him while still wanting to be with me. I never spoke to him after that. I did hear he threw a tantrum over my engagement so I consider it a win."
17."'I mean, Hitler wasn't that bad after all...' To top it [off], I'm Polish."
Has a partner or potential partner ever done something that immediately made you ghost? If so, tell us what they did or said in the comments below:
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.