Abbie Chatfield makes heartbreaking admission: 'Overwhelmed'
The media personality has revealed the dark side of her career.
Reality TV star Abbie Chatfield has revealed how the pressure of the entertainment industry has left her drained both physically and mentally. The media personality, who came runner up on The Bachelor and was later crowned Queen of the Jungle in I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!, has detailed her ongoing battle with mental health.
The Masked Singer star shared four Instagram posts on Wednesday admitting she’s still learning to manage the pressures of the gruelling media industry and the expectations she puts on herself. As the latest cover star of Stellar, Abbie revealed she struggles with the idea she’s not good enough.
“Lately my mental health has been the worst it has been in years, the first quarter of the year brought a level of work stress that I had never experienced. I won’t go into details, but all of this led me to having consistently dark thoughts that I couldn’t shake,” she wrote.
She added that even though she knew she was in the hands of people she trusted, and loved everything the photographer, makeup and wardrobe team were doing, she still felt like crying because of the pressure she puts on herself.
“The morning of this shoot, I cried the whole way driving there. I often drive myself to shoots rather than taking the car offered to me because it’s the only moment of solitude I get. The styling was amazing, but I just didn’t like how anything looked on me. So I got overwhelmed, and cried.
“Then I got dressed, and got onto set, put a fake smile on and just tried to get these shots done so I could get in my car and call my manager to cry, before I go and get interviewed, then record a podcast.”
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The FBOY Island host has been battling vocal issues for months due to her gruelling on-air radio, podcasting and tour schedule. She said she knows she should “have a break” but “it’s simply not possible”.
“My commitments don’t allow me a break. My voice right now is so painful when I speak that I cry from the pain sometimes,” she said. “I had three days of vocal rest, it didn’t help.
“I am so beyond lucky to do what I do for work. I f**king love it. But I’m breaking.
“I’m currently not speaking unless it’s on air, for the podcast or on tour right now. But that doesn’t help the stress, which I think is a major cause of my voice being so painful. I haven’t been able to just call friends to chat or have a coffee, because I can’t speak.
“I’m on the verge of tears at all times. If one thing goes wrong the flood gates open. I have so much pressure on me all the time to be fun or entertaining or at the very least have something of value to say. It’s draining. Physically and mentally.”
The 27-year-old said she wasn't looking for sympathy but wanted to give fans insight into the pressures people in the media industry face and how mental health battles can be crippling.
“I’m not trying to get sympathy, I guess I’m just trying to say this is maybe not what you think,” she said.
“This industry. I love it, and I love all my jobs but that’s kind of the issue. It’s addictive and intoxicating and f**king fun. Until it isn’t. And you are commodifying parts of you, and there isn’t much left just for yourself.”
‘Not helpful’: Abbie’s plea to fans
The star was inundated with comments suggesting that Abbie step back from the spotlight and take some time to heal, but this didn’t sit well with her.
In a series of Instagram stories, she explained why she wasn’t able to take a break from working.
“I know people are trying to be helpful but when I say I can’t take time off I’m not saying mentally or because of my pride, I’m saying contractually lmao I can’t change filming dates for multimillion-dollar TV shows, pls stop saying take time off,” she wrote.
She added that she didn’t want to quit any of her jobs, and reiterated that she ‘loves’ what she does for a living.
“I don’t choose filming dates. Tour dates have been locked in for almost a year. I can’t change this stuff,” she said. “If one more person suggests breaking my contracts aka quitting one or more of my jobs…that is the least helpful advice to someone in the industry.”
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The podcaster also said she’s particularly looking forward to The Masked Singer, and admitted she would feel “more depressed” if she wasn’t able to work on that show.
“Also, this is my income!! All of my media commitments balance on one another. If you understand then you get what I’m saying.
“I’m on the home run. In the first six months of 2023 I will have done a national tour, filmed two TV shows and done radio nightly and a 2x a week podcast. I’ve done most of the world. I’m just trying to vent without solutions!
“Pls!!! It’s really condescending unless you know me personally!!”
With NCA Newswire
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