'I lost the love of my life': Samuel Johnson opens up on girlfriend's suicide
Award-winning Australian actor Samuel Johnson has opened up about his tragedy-plagued life, including his sister’s battle with terminal cancer and the suicides of his mother and ex-girlfriend.
Johnson fought back tears as he spoke on ABC’s Anh’s Brush With Fame, revealing the immeasurable loss and pain he continues to endure every day.
The Logie winner lost his mother to suicide when he was just three years old but said it was his partner Lainie’s death in 2006 that hurts him more and more with every passing day.
Speaking to host and comedian Anh Do about losing the love of his life 11 years ago, Johnson said, “I'm still very upset for her and for her family".
"I lost the love of my life," Johnson said.
"You know how they reckon that you come to terms with your grief as you go along? Not with this one.
"With every year it gets more profound, my sadness grows."
Johnson had broken up with his partner just hours before her tragic death in what he described as “probably my life's biggest sadness”.
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The 38-year-old revisited a heartbreaking childhood that saw his sister, Connie, first diagnosed with cancer when she was just 11-years-old and the loss of his mother.
While Johnson was too young to “gauge the effects of it”, he said there was a little bit of relief amongst his family when his mother’s pain finally ended.
“She was in and out of institutions — she tried over and over again ... countless times,” he told Do as he had his portrait painted.
“By the time she eventually succeeded, I’m told there was a bit of relief, for her. According to my older sister, it was probably best that I didn’t grow up with her.”
As Do appeared lost for words listening to the anguish Johnson and his family have lived through, the former Secret Life of Us star that insisted he was “not a victim”.
“I had a great childhood. I had heaps of fun. I don’t remember hardship, I remember the value of not being able to get everything you want.
“I don’t know if I’m just bulls******* myself, but I see my time with Lainie as a gift. Maybe I lost her earlier than I would have liked but I had some of her. I got to share my life with her.”
If you are concerned about the mental health of yourself or a loved one, seek support and information by calling Lifeline 13 11 14, Mensline 1300 789 978, or Kids Helpline 1800 551 800
