'Twins for us would be winning the lottery' - Husband reacts to mother's regret about not terminating sons

A husband has spoken out about the "nightmare" of experiencing unexplained infertility after a mother of six revealed she honestly wished she had never given birth to her twin sons.

The man told NZME if his wife fell pregnant with twins it would be better than winning the lottery.

His comment came after Jeanne Measom, now 51, from Dublin, insisted she was not a bad mum for feeling regret after giving birth to her twin boys, rather than having a termination, she’s just honest.

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She told the Daily Mail she couldn't believe it when she fell pregnant with her twins while she was still breastfeeding.

She said she was shocked when she learned she was pregnant. Source: Instagram.

She took a pregnancy test after experiencing nausea and says she "stared and stared at the stick when it showed up positive".

Ms Measom had her daughter Alannah, then 10, and son Finn, 7, from a previous marriage, and had two sons Tighe, then 3, and Charlie, 8 months with her new husband Guy, when she discovered she was expecting again.

"My husband was as shocked as I was. How on earth could this have happened? I turned to Guy and demanded just how he thought we could cope with five children."

She told the Mail she and her husband had not been using contraception when she conceived her twin boys, Jude and Rowan, who are now eight years old.

The couple went to the hospital so she could have a scan and learned she was six weeks pregnant.

"While it was early enough to terminate the pregnancy - I realised that I couldn't go through with it.

"Guy agreed. His rationale was simple - 'what's one more when you've already got four?'"

However, they were in for a surprise when they went for their 20-week scan and learned they were having twins.

"I was so shocked that I burst into tears," Ms Measom said. "Guy started to laugh. I'd just got my head round having five children - but six?

"The doctor said both the babies were healthy too. It was a relief to know but I was petrified at how I would cope."

"I was petrified at how I would cope." Source: Instagram.

Ms Measom said she cried for weeks and said she was filled with fear at the thought of giving birth to two babies.

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When they were born, she says she had been hoping for girls and she remembered feeling "traumatised and utterly clueless" about how she would cope with twin boys.

She found it difficult to bond with her newborn sons.

"Instead of the warm fuzzy feeling of love and pride I'd felt with my other children regret burnt inside me. I asked myself what had I done. Had I made the wrong choice in not terminating the pregnancy? I felt guilty for even thinking it."

Ms Measom said she didn't form the same emotional attachment she had experienced with her other children as "there was just no time for that".

"I love them - of course I do. But there were days when they were younger that I honestly regretted having them," she said.

She said she did not have time to bond with her sons. Source: Instagram.

Around the twins' first birthday she hit rock bottom.

"I sat in the car with them, listening to both of them wailing and thinking I can't do this any more," she told the Daily Mail.

"Staring at them in the rear-view mirror dark thoughts rushed through my mind: I could give them up for adoption, or I could kill us all.

"They were just fleeting thoughts - thankfully. But I felt like I was drowning. I desperately needed help."

She now realises she "desperately needed help". Source: Instagram.

After enrolling her other children into a creche, she says she started to get on top of things.

But she does have advice for other parents with twins - seek help as soon as they arrive.

"I'm an honest mother and the truth that no parent of multiples likes to admit is this: having twins is unrelentingly hard work."

After reading Ms Measom's comments, a man wrote to NZME about how he could only dream of being in the 51-year-old's position.

"My wife and I dream daily of the possibility of having twins, twins for us would be winning the lottery, if we could decide between winning even the biggest lottery or having our own baby, we would choose a baby, not even twins, just a baby of our own," he wrote.

He and his wife are dealing with unexplained infertility.

"Every time we hear of someone struggling with their children, lack of sleep, behaviour issues, unwanted pregnancies, severe morning sickness, we would give anything to experience your nightmares."

He said they work in frontline emergency healthcare as a paramedic and emergency paediatric nurse and every day they see parents who do not realise how lucky they are.

"We see how they take their amazing position for granted, sometimes even abusing the entire situation.

"They don't realise how their nightmares are our dreams. How we would happily step in and take their nightmare away just for the experience of loving and caring for a child.

"Having the honour of teaching, nurturing and growing the child through development and in to life."

He said they do not feel bitter towards the parents "that abuse what we consider to be our dream, but we do stare onwards with broken hearts".

"We still pick up the broken pieces, thinking that we would love to take these pieces home, to love and cherish. But knowing that isn't our role.

"We have infertility and this is our 'child nightmare'."

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