Maz Compton reveals her life was 'unravelling into a disaster' before she gave up alcohol
Media personality Maz Compton has revealed she was drinking at least a bottle of wine a night before she gave up alcohol in 2015, in a touching and emotional blog post.
The Former 2DayFM breakfast radio host has opened up about how she decided to quit drinking after the sudden death of her manager Mark Byrne in September 2014, as her “life was slowly unravelling into a disaster zone”.
In the frank blog post, the 31-year-old admitted she had begun to turn down dinner dates to sit at home by herself and drink, before giving up the booze.
“When you start saying no to dinner plans with friends, so you can sit in your courtyard, alone and drink a bottle of wine, just because you can’t face anyone, because you feel like a fraud, then perhaps yes that is a problem,” she wrote.
“This is about where I was up to. I was lonely, living interstate away from my friends and family, I had a super demanding job that required me to be out a lot, and I somehow managed ‘to cope’ with all of this in front of anyone who was watching.”
My year without alcohol and why? - WHAT? Are you serious? Did something bad happen? I didn’t know you had a... https://t.co/yN4xdDXKRm
— Maz Compton (@MazCompton) January 10, 2016
However Compton said that beneath it all, she felt alone and suffered from panic attacks and anxiety.
“I was sad, I hated myself, and even though my face was on a billboard and it seemed like I was ticking so many boxes, I was empty inside.”
Compton admitted that because of her drinking, she had nights where she had no idea how she got home.
“I would drive my car to a party with the intention of just having one or two, and find myself still fully clothed in my bed the next day nursing a hangover with a taxi receipt hanging out of my purse and zero idea on how I got home.”
She said it was in this ‘gray area’ between binge drinking and a full-blown problem, where ‘a lot of us sit’ that she lost her family, job, license and dignity.
It was when she was grieving after the death of her manager that Compton realised that if her world had fallen apart, she could build a new one with better boundaries and bigger dreams.
“To honour his life, I decided that I would say no to drinking, and each time I refused a drink, I would remember him, I would know that he was close by and proud of me.”
Compton signed up for a fitness holiday in Thailand where drinking was not an option and she took fitness classes and ate healthy food.
After that she made the move to quit drinking for the first month of 2015 and to this day she hasn’t had a drink since New Year’s Eve in 2014.
Her decision appears to have sparked mixed responses from friends acquaintances, with reactions ranging from ‘totally understandable to completely insane’.
"You’re being boring. You used to be fun. You’ve changed. Are you pregnant? Call me when you’re back on the wagon,” were just some the responses she received over the year.
Despite the mean comments, Compton stayed true to her decision, which has since become the ‘most empowering and rewarding decision’ she has ever made.
"I am not a slave to any vices, I am not trapped, I am free, I am in control of my decisions and I feel like I can take on the world, which is a very different place to where I was when my world came crumbling down. If you are considering taking some time off, I highly recommend it.
“And let me tell you right now, no matter how much you drink, it will never fill up that emptiness in your heart, the only thing that fills that hole is love, for yourself, and you don’t find it in the bottom of a bottle, ever.”
If you or someone you know needs help, don't suffer in silence, call Lifeline anytime on 13 11 14 or visit the website www.lifeline.org.au.
News break – January 12
