'No one can hear you scream': Sufferer of sleep paralysis shares terrifying experiences

You’re on your way to falling asleep but you catch a figure out of the corner of your eye.

It’s grim, dark and has the figure of a man but you can’t see their face.

It’s sitting on the edge of your bed.

It looms over you, and then it starts to press down.

You feel as though you are sinking into the mattress with this heavy weight on your chest.

You try to scream but realise you can’t.

You can’t even move.

Millions of people have experienced sleep paralysis yet next to nothing is known about the phenomenon.

For 18 years Cathy Whitaker has become familiar with the grim figure mentioned above.

On the face of it, the 54-year-old Melbourne woman lives a ‘normal’ life.

She’s been married 29 years, has two grown sons and a supportive family and network of friends.

Without digging a little deeper, you wouldn’t know Cathy struggles with depression triggered after several family members passed away and then again by a work accident.

It was about this time sleep paralysis started creeping into her life.

“I was first diagnosed with depression in 1997 which is when the sleep paralysis started,” she said.

“The first episode that I can recall happened less than a week after my Nanna passed away. At the time I thought I was having a stroke and that I would be paralysed, yet aware for the rest of my life.

“I was beyond terrified. I went straight to my GP the next morning. He told me I was just having nightmares but sent me to a neurologist who said it was “nocturnal paralysis”.

Cathy said it was common to feel like someone was in the room with her.

“I see a black figure with a hat and he’s looming over my bed,” she said.

“It’s so real you can’t distinguish in reality what’s going on at the time.

“I did have it as a kid but I didn’t know what it was at the time.

“It’s only after researching it and looking back that I now realise it would have been sleep paralysis”.

While she beat the depression battle for a few years, the black dog returned with a vengeance when she suffered a spinal injury at work that resulted in three spinal operations. She was told she couldn’t work again.

It was also when the horrifying figure in the black hat returned more often.

“It’s always the same figure, same hat… but I never see a face,” she said.

“I don’t know if I’m asleep or awake, it’s a vague hallucination… it’s fear… absolute terror.

Each time Cathy finds herself frozen, unable to move a muscle.

Most times it will be as she is drifting off to sleep, with her husband next to her.

“Hubby will be reading and I’ll turn my light off and fall into sleep paralysis… I can hear him turning the pages and try and yell to get him to shake me but all he hears is a mumble,” she said.

“In my head I am convinced I am screaming ‘help me’ at the top of my lungs”.

“A recurrent dream/hallucination I have during an episode - I will walk to the other end of the house into one of the back bedrooms,” she said.

“I will then try to leave the bedroom, but a dark evil force grabs me and drags me back in.

“It feels so very real, and after an episode I have to gather my thoughts to sort out what is reality”.

“I think it only lasts about 20 seconds. But feels like it goes on for so much longer. In a bad patch I can have several in one night, one after the other.

“I can usually feel it coming on and know when it’s going to happen”.

Despite this, she doesn’t have a fear of falling asleep.

“I went to my doctor when it first happened in 1997, as I thought I had a stroke,” she said.

“He told me I was just having nightmares but sent me to a neurologist who said it was sleep paralysis”.

“I Googled it and realised there’s a lot of people who were going through the same as I was”.

Sleep paralysis occurs when a person is either falling asleep or waking up.

The sufferer is unable to move, speak or react during a transitional state of between being awake and asleep. Hallucinations are often reported.

It’s been linked to other disorders such as narcolepsy, migraines and anxiety – but it can also occur on its own. Cathy has been a migraine sufferer since her early teens.

“When I go into sleep paralysis I’m aware of everything that happens around me,” Cathy said.

“I try to move but I can’t… slowly you realise you’re able to move a little bit and then you can roll over and come out of it.

“Afterwards you feel foggy and try to pull yourself together”.

Not only were sufferers afraid of it, most were afraid to talk about it.

“I think there’s a lot of people out there that do have it and don’t say anything,” she said.

“It’s hard to explain to someone and it’s hard to talk to a GP because a lot don’t accept it because it’s not considered a medical condition.

“I had to explain it to a girlfriend that I was going away for the weekend with, in case I had an episode.

“Sure enough it presented itself and scared the daylights out of her.

“She managed to wake me and bring me out of it…she said I was making this terrible mumbling sound”.

Cathy found solace in forums where she was able to speak to people online that had experienced it.

“Most say it feels like an evil presence looming on your chest and pinning you down,” she said.

“They feel something standing over and looking at them and eventually it pushes you into the bed.

“It’s just awful”.

Fortunately for Cathy, she was at the stage where she could pinpoint sleep paralysis before it hit.

“As I am falling asleep I get a sensation in my head… it’s like someone has my head and they’re putting pressure on it, I also get a buzzing in my ears,” she said.

She said the best way to get through an attack was to relax.

“Know it will pass, concentrate on breathing and ride it out…. You’ve got to relax,” she said.

Unfortunately that can be easier said than done.

As discussions on mental health continue to become more public, Cathy hoped people would come to accept sleep paralysis as a common condition too.

“I think GP’s should be better educated in dealing with people suffering from it because as a patient you are terrified,” she said.

“If they said to me ‘you’ve got sleep paralysis and it’s not going to kill you’ I would’ve accepted it.

“Instead I went home thinking I was mental”.

If you are struggling with depression or anxiety, support is out there. Contact beyondblue on 1300 22 4636.