The Juggling Act: So, this is 40
Today I leave my 30s behind, and officially notch up four decades on the planet.
I don’t feel like I’ve been here that long. And, when I scan myself in the mirror, I’m convinced I don’t look like I’ve been here that long.
But then, I know too well how adept I’ve become at posing strategically (jaw up and stomach in) to maximise the benefits of my bathroom lighting.
To be honest, I’m not all that worried about appearances. Because, well let’s face it, it’s probably not going to get any better than this from herein.
The past decade has been a whirlwind - one where any opportunity for navel gazing, or contemplating one’s own self-importance in the world, evaporated in a blur of nappies, toddler tantrums, mummy guilt, school days and homework, as my gurgling babies grew into gangly children.
It’s been an exhausting ride: an enormous learning curve that I continue to climb - sometimes striding, often stumbling.
Squished all around this have been the responsibilities of paying off a home and trying to build financial security for the future: a desire to develop in my career, to keep learning (hence the latest uni studies), to create awesome family memories (hence the adventure holidays), and primarily, to mould the young hearts and minds in my care with the hope they’ll become good people (if only they’d stop bickering!).
Yep. The 30s have been a hard work decade. There have been plenty of pinch-me moments of joy which have become blissful, wistful memories. There have also been frustrations and the odd meltdown or two - all the while trying to retain an unflappable facade. But I think (I hope), I have become a better person in the process. Less of a perfectionist, more selfless, and more patient (ok... so I’m still working on the patience thing).
All year, I have watched as my old school and uni mates joined club 40. Few, if any, seem to consider it an opportunity to settle into mediocrity. Quite the opposite.
There have been escapes to tropical islands. Cruises. Parties. Motorbike trips through Vietnam. Moves to new houses - closer to city life, or escaping to the country. There have also been career changes. Babies. And weddings.
Turning 40 seems a watershed event. A time to reflect, take stock, readjust the goalposts, and strike.
No, I’m not thinking of buying a red convertible (though that might be nice), or trading the spouse on a younger, sleeker version. And I got the whole `career and life angst thing’ over and done with in my late 20s.
Now, I find myself thinking of those loved and lost - the friends who, due to accident or illness, won’t reach this milestone.
I’m thinking how grateful I am for my good health, and for the people in my life who’ve taught me a thing or too about resilience, loyalty, compassion and hope.
I’m thinking of the decade to come - encountering the teenage years from a mum’s perspective; and knowing sadly that the chances of my two remaining grandparents lasting another 10 years, are very slim.
I’m thinking how, by and large, I have had an amazing ride: how I have turned most of my teenage ambitions into reality: how I have had the chance to do and see things a 15 year old me would never have imagined possible.
I’m also thinking of the many lessons learned along the way - from childhood, through adolescence and into my twenties and thirties.
It all seems to consolidate with the notion that ultimately life is not about what take from it - but about what you can breathe into it.
Wisdom. It’s something that would be so useful at age 18, but alas takes years to earn.
So now the path ahead seems clear, vibrant and exciting.
I’m pretty pleased to be at 40 - not so much when life begins, but when a new perspective on life begins.
Follow Sally on Twitter @SallyEeles
