5 Signs Your Partner's Porn Habits (Or Your Own) Have Become Problematic
Porn isn’t inherently bad. If you look at it as a form of entertainment rather than a reflection of real sex, your porn consumption isn’t necessarily going to be detrimental to your sex life, either. (And as many feminists have argued, some porn can even be a tool of empowerment for women.)
It’s how you personally engage with porn that determines its effect on you: how much you watch and how you compare and contrast what you’ve seen to your actual sex life, said Janet Brito, a psychologist and sex therapist at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Hawaii.
“A healthy relationship to porn is defined by the individual ― only you can decide if porn is ‘good or bad’ for you,” she said. “But I’d say it’s a problem if you’re using porn to hide or escape from forming intimate and deeper relationships with others, if that’s your desire.”
A healthy relationship with porn means “you’re not hiding your sexual behavior (i.e., porn use) from others or feeling guilty or shame around it,” she added.
What are some other signs you ― or your partner ― have developed an unhealthy relationship with porn? Below, Brito and other sex therapists who’ve worked with couples in this position offer five signs. (Keep in mind that a problematic relationship with porn isn’t the same as a porn addiction. And diagnosing porn addiction is a very slippery slope: In the mental health community, there’s been some debate about whether compulsive porn use should actually be considered an addiction, and also, how it should be treated.)
1. You’re actively avoiding sex
If you can get off without a laptop or smartphone screen in front of you, you’re probably fine. But if you’re avoiding sex with your partner ― or prefer a quick visit to PornHub (or the cam girl experience) to actually having sex ― it might be a problem, said Sari Cooper, a sex therapist and director of Center for Love and Sex.
“Your partner’s...
