25 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (Jan. 14-27)
Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between.
And somehow the husbands and wives of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in 280 characters or less.
Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
1
My wife gets mad if we put the milk back in the fridge with only one sip left which is weird based on all her 96% empty shampoo bottles.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 14, 2020
2
Me: It’s the next exit.
Husband: I know! You don’t have to keep telling me. *misses the exit*— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) January 18, 2020
3
My grocery list is just my husband writing down things he thinks we need and me writing down where that thing is already located in our house.
— Some Boys' Mother (@someboysmother) January 19, 2020
4
Establish dominance in your marriage by being the first one to say “what’s for dinner.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 22, 2020
5
My husband declined breadsticks at Olive Garden thank god the bathroom is by the front door so I can ditch this lame ass date
— motherducker (@houseandhens) January 22, 2020
6
Get married and have kids so you can sext your spouse during the day but then end up with a kid or two in your bed all night and no actual sex.
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) January 18, 2020
7
My wife has eleven different sighs and I have to know what each one means.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) January 26, 2020
8
My husband: Put on something hot and do a sexy dance for me, baby.
Me: *puts on Snuggie and does the worm*— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) January 16, 2020