And somehow, the husbands and wives of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in 280 characters or fewer.
Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
I’ve decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me.— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) March 30, 2020
Quarantine day 13: My husband is describing sandpaper to me.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 29, 2020
Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. JUST LEAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE DOORSTEP.— dADDisms (@Beagz) March 28, 2020
Wife: let me in the fucking house.
Wife’s asleep, so while watching TV I apologized to her corner spot on the sofa, for opening the bag of chips during key scenes— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 4, 2020
Me: Can you hand me that clip?— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) April 3, 2020
Husband: Can you please buy some actual hair clips? Every time you want to wear your hair up I have to finish the chips.
Every husband in the background of a Zoom conference. pic.twitter.com/eMfnRO7q01— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) April 2, 2020
Wife: What movie should we watch?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 3, 2020
Me: That depends. Are you going to stay awake past the opening credits?
Wife: *already asleep*
Me: Am I annoying you?— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) April 5, 2020
My husband: no.
Also my husband: pic.twitter.com/EuhLIH7Q9T
I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. Long story short,...