Jomtien is family friendly
From a distance, Jomtien Beach might be called the Condo Coast, such is the escarpment of apartment towers that has sprung up along its shore in recent years.
Come a little closer and amid those shimmering condos you find a large archway spanning the main road. It announces: "Pattaya the Extreme City." Well and good but, despite the sign, rambunctious Pattaya is in fact 2km away, safely over the hill.
Related: GUIDE TO THAILAND | GULF OF THAILAND
The bi-polar twins of extreme Pattaya and serene (well, not entirely) Jomtien sit on the Gulf of Thailand, 150km south-east of Bangkok, about 90 minutes drive from Suwannabhumi Airport. Jomtien is the place you retreat to when Pattaya's apocalyptic partying becomes too much, or you just want some space on the sand.
Pattaya's narrow main beach is crammed by rental lounges and its dubious waters are carved by kamikaze power craft.
Meanwhile, just to the south over Pratumnak Hill, 5km-long Jomtien Beach has wider, whiter sands and far fewer aquatic loons.
The beach was Jomtien's original drawcard for foreign tourists and expats.
Today it is newly cashed-up Russians, flown in on charters from the frozen north to nearby U-Tapao Airport, who spit-roast their tans here. (Such are their numbers that even the ubiquitous 7/11 mini-marts are beginning to advertise in Cyrillic.)
The beach is popular, too, with weekending Thais.
Being generally tan-phobic (brown skin is a sign of low-class outdoor labour) the Thais are usually found well shaded beneath umbrellas, trees and long sleeves.
Beyond the beach, what is there to do in Jomtien? Thai-style massages are widely available. The quality varies, but at 200-300 baht ($6.60-$10) an hour you can afford to sample several until you find your favourite.
Recommended is a "blind massage" (130 baht/hr) at the Thai Blind Massage Institute in the Jomtien Complex.
This charitable institution employs highly skilled people whose strength and accuracy make many other massage offerings feel like over-priced back rubs.
If shopping is high on your list of "might-do" activities, all the cheapo leisure wear, sunglasses, knock-off watches and 100 baht pirate DVDs and CDs you'll ever want are available in Jomtien's markets and street stalls.
An Armani army of Indian tailors will accost you, although their display garments are often more Bollywood hipster than Milan stylista.
The large Thepprasit Weekend Night Market, just inland at the junction of Thepprasit and Sukhumvit roads, runs from Friday to Sunday and is popular with Thais.
Beyond Jomtien, the surrounding Chonburi Province is family-friendly with several theme parks that kids love, such as Nong Nooch Tropical Garden, the Floating Market, Big Buddha and Pattaya Elephant Village.
For something different, try Jomtien Fishing Park's well-stocked pond: rent a rod and enjoy catch and release, or catch and cook and eat. Golf remains huge, with some 20 international-standard courses and driving ranges in the Pattaya-Jomtien region.
When the sun goes down, Jomtien offers good food in quality Western and Asian restaurants along Thappraya Road, as well as in beachside eateries.
Accommodation ranges from lodges and small resorts to condominiums and mid-range hotels.
For tranquillity and a five-star, family-friendly retreat away from the hullaballoo, Ravindra Beach Resort and Spa far down the beach at Na Jomtien is the place.
See www.ravindraresort.com.
