We were feeling fine about the pork from the carvery until the second "death" Tarot card was flipped.
Our psychic assured us that the Grim Reaper wasn't literal.
Well, not always.
But the disturbingly specific follow-up to "be careful of electrical fires at home" set us on edge.
Welcome to the slightly unsettling world of psychic dining.
Think part theatre restaurant show, part speed dating, part psychic reading - with a buffet thrown in ($90 per head, drinks extra).
Adding to the eclectic mix at this Swan Valley function centre- cum-restaurant was a potpourri of lighting options: candelabra with tea lights, chandeliers and LED replica cherry blossom trees.
As wedding guests in the room next door necked bourbon and danced to Barnesy, we settled in for soup du jour (peppery, smoky, pea and ham).
A coven? flotilla? of five psychics floated between tables, inviting diners outside to three separate 10-minute "readings".
The girls-night-outers had it sussed: they travelled in big enough packs not to be left dining alone when their better halves were off having their auras probed.
But then, for those left stranded, there was at least the safety of the buffet for distraction.
The aforementioned pork came with a choice of robust honeyed carrot sticks served in a formal silver cloche with a nicely mustardy coleslaw and rolls.
A bland chicken cacciatore and dry, whitefish "rollmops" sitting in a thin brothy cream sauce rounded out the mains.
Shortly after, my world view was reinforced when the earnest psychics told me, on numerous occasions, that I was a creative soul, and that there was "travel over water" in my future.
As an island dweller, I concurred. For others the moment obviously had more impact, though, with some returning tearfully to their table. Perhaps they'd drawn the card telling them to turn vegan.
Dessert was served below the three-bar insect zapper. A fudgy-dense chocolate slice was the highlight, along with a zingy lime and lemon tart.
During the latter half of the week Valley View also offers breakfasts, high teas and non-threatening standards for lunch such as crumbed brie or garlic prawns, pasta and pizza. It's an inoffensive package, and well-meaning staff make you feel welcome. And if you take the psychic night in the "spirit" it's intended, it's entertaining.
Valley View Restaurant
Address 10481 West Swan Road, Henley Brook
Phone 9269 0211
Open, Friday and Mon 10am-4pm. Sat/Sun 9am-4pm. Saturday (and some Fridays) 6pm-late. Psychic dinners, monthly.
The buzz By day Valley View offers pleasant views and wedding function fare. By night, it offers functions and pleasant food.11/20