"Am I alone here," asks comedian Colin Lane, previously of Lano and Woodley fame. "I'm not sure about pop music but you guys obviously do like the music - you're buying it and going to concerts. Twenty million people bought Michael Jackson's Thriller, so they can't all be wrong. But there again, five million people bought Milli Vanilli's album and they were basically miming - so five million people did get it a bit wrong in that case."
Colin Lane's show called I'm Not Sure About the Music is part stand-up and part cabaret, examining Lane's indifference to the world of pop music. It's the first show he's created since comedy duo Lano and Woodley spit in 2006.
It's akin to therapy for Lane, where he works through his issues by posing questions to the audience and singing cover versions of songs he likes by The Killers, Elton John, Frank Sinatra, Justin Timberlake and even The Veronicas.
So what is his problem with pop music exactly?
"I was overseas last year and had a lovely time with a guy called Brian Nankervis, who is one of the producers of RocKwiz (music quiz show on SBS)," explains Lane.
"He's loved and adored music for years and is constantly confused/surprised that I don't have the same passion when it comes to music, especially popular music. I'm trying to figure out whether it's always been the case since I was a boy, or whether I'm just turning into a grumpy old bastard.
"I like some music and I like to sing. I've been told I have a reasonable voice when I used to do comedy in Lano and Woodley, so I thought, 'Let's see if I can sing in public a song with no jokes and have them not rush the stage and accuse me of being tedious.'
"I do a nice sweet song by You Am I called Heavy Heart, so I do get a little bit sensitive at some stage in the show but I just think we should all calm down when it comes to worshiping Bono as a rock'n'roll god."
Lane opens the show with Hook Me Up by The Veronicas - "I don't know why, it's just ridiculous seeing a 44-year-old man singing that song" - and then proceeds to take a jaded but humorous look at the world of pop music and infamous celebrities such as Lady Gaga.
"I can't quite get excited about Lady Gaga because I think she's just the epitome of style over substance," laughs Lane.
"I think they spend months and months getting the right look and style and then they sit down and say, 'We better write some songs'. But that's what people like, they're attracted to people who have a certain exciting style they can relate to, so better that than smoking crack."
Lady Gaga aside; what about Beyonce?
"She just sexes it up so much. I don't know where she got those hips from . . . I'm trying to figure out whether that's OK for the kiddies to be watching. On Saturday morning Video Hits, I'm not sure over Vegemite and a cup of tea whether I want Beyonce to be pushing her sexuality. There's no subtlety with her, it's just like, 'bang!'"
