Every winter weekend it's a ritual. I go to the MCG, watch my beloved Melbourne "Demons" cop a thumping and blame the umpires. I yell, I scream, I shout at and abuse the officials in white, yellow, red or green.

And it feels good!

I've done it for more than 40 years and fully intend to continue. That's NOT the confession.

This IS... This week I met a group of AFL umpires and, despite myself, I actually really liked them!! They were terrific, entertaining, self-deprecating blokes, passionate about footy and totally absorbed by the game.

Human beings after all!!

Former Victorian Premier and current Hawthorn Football Club President Jeff Kennett recently attacked the AFL umpires. "They're almost bigger than the game and bigger than the players," he told a Melbourne radio station.

The AFL has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to club officials criticising umpires. Mr Kennett was given a choice. Attend 'Umpires' School' to see how they train, how they analyse their performances, and get to know a few of them. OR pay a $5000 fine.

Rather than be seen in a room full of umpires, he chose the fine!

So we chose to go along to 'Umpires' School' in his stead, to find out what he missed out on. It was fascinating.

The first thing you notice when you arrive at Melbourne's Monash Uni on a cold Monday night for an umpies' training session is how funny they are. They bag each other endlessly...funnily enough, umpires are much better at bagging umpires than we fans are!

But then there's the serious side. They spend 25 to 30 hours a week training, which involves repetition sprints (forwards and backwards), gym work and bouncing practice. They also analyse tapes of each game for mistakes in decision making and positioning. The analysis comes from their coaches and themselves.

It's a part time gig. The umpires all have full time jobs. They're lawyers, teachers, financial advisors, police officers.

So the big question is why the hell do they do this? Who in their right mind would subject themselves to the irrational, illogical, unthinking, emotion choked abuse of diehards like myself week in, week out?

According to 141-game veteran Shaun Ryan, who umpired last year's Grand Final, the reason is simple. "Like the fans, like the players, like the coaches we just love the footy," he says. Shaun says the umpy has the best seat in the house.

As for the fan abuse, it just washes off him. "The one thing you can't have is an ego because if you did you'd last about two months."

Shaun is a barrister and is married with two children. His two year old daughter Maisie loves imitating her Dad blowing a whistle and trying to bounce a footy. It makes you feel sad and more than a little guilty to hear when this innocent little girl is old enough to go to the football she'll have to be warned about the crowd by her Mum.

"Some People can get quite personal and quite rude," says Stacey Ryan.

"But I guess I'll just have to explain to the kids that it's the way it is and that's part of the job description of what Dad does."

When she told me that I felt a tad ashamed.

Jeff Kennett's outburst did not offend Shaun and his fellow umpires, but Shaun insists the Hawthorn President was just plain wrong. He craves nothing more than officiating a game un-noticed by the crowd. "Our ideal game is to be in the background and just let the players put on the show and then we're not talked about."

He says it's a shame Mr Kennett and other critics don't come to training and make an effort to get to know the umpires. They'd actually get on quite well because of their mutual obsession with the game. Shaun believes they'd agree on more than they disagree on.

I left vowing next weekend I'd have a different attitude towards these dedicated, unappreciated, masochistic individuals without whom our great game would simply grind to a halt.

I'm sure I will..UNTIL they pay a free kick against my team!!

As my new friend Shaun Ryan said, "We could go through the whole season without having one error and you'd still get booed!!"