Hail to the Chief! Paris Hilton's entry into the American Presidential campaign is brilliant, just brilliant. Not just because her spoof ad was so damned funny, but because it was so damned wounding to that, well, old guy, McCain.
"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton and I'm a celebrity too. Only I'm not from the olden days ... I'm just hot!"
With one savagely hilarious hit Paris belted McCain where it really hurts, reminding America and the world that he's just this side of God's waiting room.
Now that's what we've lost in politics, the art of seriously hurting an opponent through humour.
Churchill knew how to do it.
Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee!"
Churchill: "My dear, if you were my wife I'd drink it."
Ouch.
Famously after time on the turps Churchill made his way into parliament where a female MP stood up and yelled, "Churchill you're drunk!" To which the inebriated Winston responded, "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
But my personal favourite is this riposte out of 19th Century England.
Politician 1.
"I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease."
Politician 2.
"That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."
Quick wit. Biting humour. We need to revive this lost skill. Paris has shown us the way!
The ad that stung her into action was one the McCain team ran which inter-cut shots of Obama being cheered by adoring thousands on his recent trip to Berlin with shots of Paris and Britney Spears.
Geddit? Paris is a celebrity, Obama is a celebrity. Paris is an airhead, Obama is an airhead. McCain is a leader.
That McCain team sure are subtle.
Scores of McCain strategists would have workshopped and road tested that for days on end before delivering their smug final product. Paris comes out with a few wickedly funny lines, "... So thanks for the endorsement WHITE HAIRED DUDE, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead," and pop goes their pompous balloon.
Good on her.
Even better her environmental policy was so much better than McCain's. "We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. ... Energy crisis solved, I'll see you at the debates, bitches!"
President Paris. She's got my vote.
Comments
You have got to be joking. That wasnt quick wit. That was more Paris being self conceited as usual. When you think about it Paris IS an airhead there is no doubt about it. So what if her grandfather made millions its not like she did anything to prove herself worthy of such fortune. I mean nobody knew especially us aussies who she was until her porno came out. All of a sudden the media embraced her because she seemed so, how should i put it..."easy"
Aug 7 04:50 pmPresident of what??? What a load of CRAP!! The only thing she is brilliant on is where she can go next to steal one's boyfriend or husband!! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!
Aug 8 12:16 pmWhy does this bimbo get so much attention? What exactly makes her newsworthy???? She is living proof that money does not buy class.
Aug 8 01:11 pmIf Paris Hilton becomes President she may finally arrest and send to prison the 49,000 Catholics who sexually abused over 60,000 American children. The American President's Bush is a friend of the Pope so he is 'blind' and does not consider the Catholics paedophiles as terrorist. It will be fun to see Paris Hilton command the American soldiers to hunt down the Catholics paedophiles like they do with the Muslims terrorists.
Aug 8 01:26 pmI don't think that Paris is mature enough to run for president,she still doesn't even know who she really is? I think she has many more lifes journeys to go on before even thinking about such a huge commitment! Too many people rely on the leadership of a Presindent, Paris is too busy having fun and putting on her makeup. Sorry Paris I like you but your just not ready!!
Aug 8 01:51 pm